Eh. What the hell. Why not? I need a conversation starter for this non-updated piece of crap :-D

1) 'Why am I on your friends' list?
Comment, then post this in your journal and see what people say about you.'

2) If you comment...
1. I'll respond with something random I like about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll name something we should do together.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal so you can do the same for other people.

( Check Out My snazzy Self )

So I just started fooling around with Second Life the other day and I must say I find it fascinating. I'm having a great time so far.

Oddly enough all I have to say is:

"Burn the land and boil the sea; You can't take the sky from me..."

Rock on Serenity.

But I think I might be depressed.

This is me alright

Dance the night away by karchan85
Name
What you Look like
The Music	Holiday
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Or not.

Hmph.

Seems like things at the Framingham store are slipping downhill. I feel bad. I feel like I'm abandoning people considering that between the associates and the managers I was the voice of reason. You know... Convincing the managers to take it easy on some people, convincing the associates that things will turn out okay...

What bothers me is that my former managers (whom I will sitll have to work about three days more with) are not listening to anything I ever said. I told them to give this kid Andrew less hours so he could work at his other job. I told them that they should pay close attention to this girl Jessica's hours because her schedule is a bit strict due to a second job and school. I told them that these 17 year old high school kids need to be scheduled two to three days or else they'll quit. The three of them, Mitch, Dave, and Ken only give a damn about themselves and in the meantime they are losing their help. What's funny is... The crappy people will hang on.

See... Your smart hard workers will recognize when the management doesn't give a crap or doesn't listen to them... Good people can find better jobs. Crappy people like some I won't mention who have been there for 7-10 years will stay no matter what because whatever the scheduling, they just want a job.

Gahfuck. I feel terrible because I told them things would be fine. Now I have my doubts because each manager is too pig headed to take the initiative to fix the simplest of things.

Hurray for me. Time to leave for work and I hit 6,500 words exactly. Well that's goodnews although the last thousand or so I'm not too happy about because I was starting to lose inspiration with the mindset that I needed to head off to work. I'll rewrite some of it later...

Ciao for now bitches!

Okay.. This isn't good. I'm taking a night off from writing and will pick upa gain tomorrow morning. I needed to write another 1700 words... So for tomorrow I'm going to go for 3000. If I don't update tomorrow at 1PM EST with an addition of at least another 300 words... Smack me around a little bit.

Ten minutes until midnight, November 3'rd is on its way and the word count is up to 3,414. A very nice start. I've figured I need to write about 1700 words a day in order to make 50k by the end of the months. If that is the case then my calculations are correct, I am currently on par to do it. I just need to keep it up. I don't think that it will be hard now that I have a more tangible goal rather than just typing BS all over the place.

And on that note. I'm going to bed. Goodnight LJ.

I didn't vote today. What a terrible person I must be. Is it wrong to not care? Okay, clarification... I do care. To be honest, however, I don't believe that my vote will actually matter in the long run. I watch the polls on television and I see how my state turns blue without my vote, and I see how the rest of the country seems overrun with red, also without the benefit of my vote. Massachusettes isn't a swing state, it is a state that will almost undeniably vote for the democrats. It is a state that will nearly only vote for the home man in this case (who would have been my choice) but as it happens, I would have only voted for Kerry because I don't like Bush... Frankly that doesn't seem like a good enough reason.

Anyone. I'm getting a promotion. In three weeks I will be a sales manager and be making a good chunk more money which is pretty nice. Congradulate me... Retail is tightening its stranglehold. Isn't that great?

2,166

Wow. Just looking at my posts has showed me that, with the exception of a post made in april to showcase a Troll icon I made, I haven't posted in my journal for over one year. I think that is fucking amazing.

Okay... So a post is made... and this post is about Writing a Novel in one month. 3 pages down and 1,175 words written. So far so good. That is all.

I know I never update! But look. My new Icon. I watched Troll today and it is the best movie ever!!!

Okay. So it is now, while sitting here at 230 in the morning, that I realize something: Sleep isn't what it used to be.

I've been having so much trouble sleeping lately and I can blame it on-

No. I'm not going to write about how I'm not sleeping well. It's 230 in the morning for christ's sake and anyone who reads my journal, or at the very least has been reading it over the past years, knows that it is at this time, tired sick and in total darkness, that I am able to come up with my most interesting posts.

(Disclaimer: I left my glasses in the other room so I can barely see what I'm typing. Bear with any typos.)

No more a child and no less an adult as when I awoke this morning, I find myself in the complacent air of contemplation. Eyes become droopy, fingers sluggish and too fat at two in the morning for a laptop keyboard, and I sense this feeling burrowing itself deep within the pit of my being. It digs at me, clenches like a fist, and releases without relief; the frustrating pain of commonplace actions, the willing sigh of conformity. It grinds me to be accomplishing the exact nothing that so many people throughout my life had expected of me, and although security, safety, both seem well at hand, I long for the train wreck that beckons to propel me. The one single solitary moment in my life that will shunt me to a new place, either mentally or physically, transforming me anew.

Too often there are choices shown to me, avenues of possibility, roads of purpose, that I scoff at because of the way those around me react to it. Perhaps I should bite the bullet, bury the hatchet so to speak, and embrace one singular thing fully, instead of trying to play the field and keep my options open. I look at my ideas for these stories and they seem so meaningless but it is perhaps in lack of meaning that my talent lay. Stephen King wrote Carrie and although it is probably the worst work of prose ever vomitted onto the page, it struck a chord with some people and sent him along on his way. This will not be my fate.

My novel goes about as well as everything else in my life does. It flutters in my mind and fails as fast as you can say "Microsoft Word." I bought this laptop, spendind the better half of nine hundred dollars and for what? So I can roleplay online from my living room rather than my bedroom, yippee! I find myself lying when people who are supportive of my writing ask me if I have been writing. "Yep. I'm half way through." or "I started something and the idea is there but I need to proofread it." Why is it that I actually give a shit? Why do I feel the need to avoid the disappointment of near strangers? Maybe I'm just at an aim to alleviate my disappointment in my own efforts. Efforts, meaning of course no efforts.

Am I finished with this self depricating nonsense? Nearly. I want to mention also that I wish I had a big bowl of chicken soup right now and also, while on the wishing theme, I wish I could actually get tired without having to jerk off first.

Sorry for the vulgarity, but it is 250 in the morning and at this time of night I'm not in complete control of what I say. Alrhough, the fact I can apologize proves that I notice it and could go back to erase it. Can't do that though... I find when I write things in first person tense I have trouble deleting what I've put down.

After pausing a moment with my hands cupped over my nose to relieve the stress on my slumped neck, I look around my room to realize how dark everything seems when a laptop screen is the only light in the room...

Interested yet?

At least I'm not just babbling about the red sox or grumbling about work, right?

I think that based on this post, and based on my mood, I will go random searching now and add whoever I come across. Five people. To you who I will add, welcome... Read back in my journal, there's more where this came from.

So last night I got home from work and after a while of doing a bunch of crap, I went to sleep. I didn't sleep that well but it was for a good reason... I had about half a dozen sex dreams about my girlfriend Suzy. No fantasy locations, no fantasy people involved and no outrageous positions, just normal sex stuff with Suzy. It was very odd in a way because it was extremely vivid. Then we woke up at six in the morning and (edited for content).

As for my story that I'm trying to write, well it is coming along well in my head, though I really need to start writing stuff down because I keep replaying scenes in my mind and when I do that, its only a matter of time before they all disappear.

What else...? For some strange reason I am looking forward to work. It was so dead, so slow last night that there is no way that tonight is going to be busy. What that means is that I'll get to read and relax. I'm still so layedback from my vacation that the little tiny setbacks at work mean absolutely nothing to me. However, in the bad news category, I need to get up tommorrow at 5 in the morning to get to the brighton store at six. The goodnews is that I stay there for about fifteen minutes and then come back home and go right back to sleep.

I'm definately getting coffee on my way to work today, fascinating I know.

I don't know what else to say. I'll have more to update tonight. Hopefully my tossing and turning from all the sexy dreams last night will put me in a tired state earlier than usual so that I can get some sleep before getting up early tommorrow.

Oh! I changed my layout and colors and stuff. People should check it out if they give a crap about that sort of stuff.

Okay, so it has been quite some time once again. I know, I'm so very fickl, but my LJ account runs out soon, I think in december or november, but I can never tell because they format the date strangely and although it sohuld be easy to figure out by just looking at the way that the day atop this particular post is shown as I'm updating, I seem to have this disease where I immediately forget once not here.

I'm back at work starting today... The good news is that my schedule is so weird this week that it works out to only four days of real work and two days where I'm just sort of sitting around after hours and/or not doing anything. I'm happy about that.

Also, I've started working on something that shows promise. I've revitalied a furry Sci-Fi story that I wrote about twelve pages of previously. It's a sort of futuristic steam/cyber punk kind of world, big mega corporation controlling everything, rebellion of effed up furs, mafioso, supernatural elite guards, stuff lik that. So far I've been able to draw, with help from Suzy, up about forty or so important characters with small descs. to keep myself moving with it. I think I need a little more background on each set in electronic stone before I can start writing it but I've gotten a pretty decent picture of how I want it to go in my head. Well, the first half at least. Will it have porn in it? Who knows... It was originally going to be 100% porn for my amusement but I think It's going to switch to simply adult subject matter because now I like the story.

In other news. I saw Kill Bill and thought it was awesome. I don't like that people said it didn't have any story to speak of because there was a story... Just becuse it was simple doesn't mean it wasn't there... The people who think that Kill Bill doesn't have a story are the same people, probably, who are anxiously awaiting the release of Radio. It reminds me of Crouching Tiger (Which was a much better movie movie) where people only saw someone flying and instantly turned off. Newsflash: It is possible to tell a story that has some elements which rise above the possible and not have it suck instantly. It's a strange misconeption that a movie that has kung-fu in it automatically makes it nothing. Although... The Matrix did a pretty good job of that.

I saw Texas Chainsaw Massacre and wow. I didn't think it entirely sucked, but it did and I think I just like everything.

Speaking of work. I need to go to work. More later...